Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
