tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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