the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
