went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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