you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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