you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
