Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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