put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
