I'm gonna have a badass scar
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
