I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
