that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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