Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
