ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
dude. I can hear the air.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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