tell your sister to shave her snatch
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
