just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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