Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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