they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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