I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
