I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
