am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
