He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
