No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
