idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
