omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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