Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
