so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
this beer tastes like vomit already
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
