The best revenge is premature balding
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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