is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
