We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
