fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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