Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
