Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
