If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
