We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
