covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
