I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
