So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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