Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
