I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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