fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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