He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
