did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just pee around me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
