you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
His nipple licking is glorious
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