i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
