idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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