Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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