we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
