he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
