I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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