What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
