he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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