I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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